“Can I ever drink socially again?” is a question you often here asked from newly recovered drunks. It is also something that people might ask even after years being sober. This is a dangerous line of thinking that has been the cause of much suffering for many of us. In my twenties I picked up alcohol again after two years sobriety because I allowed this question to make itself comfortable in my mind. I began to wonder if it would be possible for me to go and drink like a so called normal person.
The answer for me at least is that I can never drink socially again. I didn’t drink socially to begin with anyway. I just never saw the point in a beer now and again to be social. From my early teens the point of alcohol was to change the way I felt, and the more that I was able to consume the greater the effect. Drinking like a normal person or drinking socially just had no appeal to me. It still doesn’t.
I often hear about groups like moderation management that teach former drunks to drink socially again. These groups seem completely pointless to me, but maybe they work for some people. Why would I want to go back and do something that was once responsible for making my life so miserable? It is not like I’m missing out on much now is it? If drink isn’t going to allow me to completely numb my mind then it doesn’t seem to have much going for it.
I prefer the life of complete abstinence because I know that there is not one tiny bit of enjoyment left in alcohol for me. I made sure of that, because I drank enough for twenty lifetimes. It has been since walking away completely from alcohol that my life has been enjoyable. Even during the best days of my addiction there were never days like the ones I currently now regularly experience. Why would I even consider touching alcohol again? Why would any drunk? For me trying to drink like a normal person would be as silly as trying to avoid bruises like a lucky jay-walker – why would I want to take the risk of jay-walking?
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