1. Help other drunks or addicts. This is a great way to strengthen your own recovery from addiction. This is an important part of the Alcoholics Anonymous programme, but you don’t need to belong to AA in order to benefit from this activity. The help you offer drunks or addicts might be of the direct variety where you volunteer for an organisation which works with them. Another way that you can help is over the internet by joining an online recovery group where you can offer support to people struggling with their addiction. Just telling people how good life in recovery can be is a great way to help other drunks or addicts. This type of work can really boost our own recovery and remind us of where you have come from.
2. Get healthy. Feeling physically healthy is important in recovery because if our body feels good then our mind will feel good as well. A healthy body is confident and full of energy, and you will be unlikely to return to addiction while your body and mind is feeling so good.
3. Get spiritual. This does not have to involve believing in any bizarre notions, hugging trees, or joining any cultish group. Getting spiritual means getting more in touch with yourself; this could be through an exercise like tai-chi or yoga, or it might involve a more formal meditation practice. Going for long walks and observing the nature around us is another way for us to get spiritual.
4. Learning a new skill or starting a new activity. Keeping things fresh is a great way to strengthen our recovery from addiction; it has also been shown that it helps us live longer. We should always be willing to try new things, and experience all that a sober life can offer.
5. Think about others. As drunks on addicts we have spent much of our lives self-absorbed and living selfishly. Thinking about others and helping them will benefit us greatly.
Monday 28 September 2009
Sunday 20 September 2009
A way to be
For people who quit an addiction it seems important to have a new direction in life; a new path. At least that has been my experience anyway. If I had returned to my old way of doing things and the only thing that changed was the fact that I was sober then my recovery would have been doomed; this had been the cause of failure for all of my previous attempts at recovery. I had assumed that my life would just change if I remained sober, but there needs to be a bit more than this.
I had known intellectually the importance of doing things differently when sober, but it wasn’t until it was further explained to me by Phra Hans at Wat Thamkrabok that this information really hit me. This monk told me that the reason for my addiction was the fact that I had no direction so my life had no meaning; it was no wonder that I had fallen into the trap of abusing alcohol. When life has no real meaning why not just turn to any opportunity for comfort that life could throw at me. It was the lack of any real alternative that meant that I stuck with this flawed tool for coping with life long after it had stopped working; why I stuck with it even though it was killing me and making my life unbearable.
I finished my treatment at Wat Thamkrabok now convinced about the importance of finding a path. I sort of misunderstood things even then. I expected any path coming my way to be a bit grand; a spiritual journey that was going to take me to these amazing realisations. I sort of expected life to become full of magical signs and occurrence; all very grandiose and self-important. I was expecting something really special. I didn’t realise that the path was to be found in the simple; I failed to understand that the important thing was to be on a path and that there was no real importance as to the final goal or speed that I would be travelling. If I am on a journey then there will be things to discover; if I dedicate myself to a direction in life then there will be meaning and rewards.
It is my conviction that the meaning of life is to find something that gives us pleasure and just dedicating ourselves to whatever this is. This could be something like Tai Chi or even stamp collecting, the important thing is that it is something that we can devote ourselves to with at least half the enthusiasm that we had for our previous addiction. Of course we should not allow it to interfere with our ability to fulfil our social and family obligations. This new activity doesn’t have to have any grand meaning either, and it doesn’t have to be complicated, so long as it is not a negative goal or something that involves hurting other people . There is a saying that all paths lead to the Buddha; I am not clever enough to know if this is true or if it is important. I do know that simply finding something we enjoy and devoting ourselves to it can teach us all that we need to know, and take us where we need to be. This path can steer us away from addiction, and leave us feeling that the pleasures we once found in drugs or booze are very shallow indeed.
I had known intellectually the importance of doing things differently when sober, but it wasn’t until it was further explained to me by Phra Hans at Wat Thamkrabok that this information really hit me. This monk told me that the reason for my addiction was the fact that I had no direction so my life had no meaning; it was no wonder that I had fallen into the trap of abusing alcohol. When life has no real meaning why not just turn to any opportunity for comfort that life could throw at me. It was the lack of any real alternative that meant that I stuck with this flawed tool for coping with life long after it had stopped working; why I stuck with it even though it was killing me and making my life unbearable.
I finished my treatment at Wat Thamkrabok now convinced about the importance of finding a path. I sort of misunderstood things even then. I expected any path coming my way to be a bit grand; a spiritual journey that was going to take me to these amazing realisations. I sort of expected life to become full of magical signs and occurrence; all very grandiose and self-important. I was expecting something really special. I didn’t realise that the path was to be found in the simple; I failed to understand that the important thing was to be on a path and that there was no real importance as to the final goal or speed that I would be travelling. If I am on a journey then there will be things to discover; if I dedicate myself to a direction in life then there will be meaning and rewards.
It is my conviction that the meaning of life is to find something that gives us pleasure and just dedicating ourselves to whatever this is. This could be something like Tai Chi or even stamp collecting, the important thing is that it is something that we can devote ourselves to with at least half the enthusiasm that we had for our previous addiction. Of course we should not allow it to interfere with our ability to fulfil our social and family obligations. This new activity doesn’t have to have any grand meaning either, and it doesn’t have to be complicated, so long as it is not a negative goal or something that involves hurting other people . There is a saying that all paths lead to the Buddha; I am not clever enough to know if this is true or if it is important. I do know that simply finding something we enjoy and devoting ourselves to it can teach us all that we need to know, and take us where we need to be. This path can steer us away from addiction, and leave us feeling that the pleasures we once found in drugs or booze are very shallow indeed.
Sunday 13 September 2009
Homeless drunks in Thailand
Westerners ending up homeless on the streets of Thailand probably sounds a bit absurd. After all, Thailand has a lot of poverty of its own so how could someone from the rich west end up begging on the streets of Bangkok or one of the other Thai cities. The sad thing is that it does happen and the usual cause is addiction.
There can be an extremely negative view of these homeless people among the ex-pat community in Thailand. There seems to be a rush to dehumanise these people and see them as completely at fault for their predicament. The logic is that people like this should not be allowed to enter the country in the first place. Thai people appear far more understanding, but have too many of their own worthy cases that require their attention.
I was never homeless in Thailand, but I did end up on the streets in my twenties. Alcohol completely destroyed my ability to function rationally or effectively. The only choice for me was the streets. Of course I am responsible for being a drunk, but there was no way in my wildest dreams that I ever thought that things would get that bad. I imagine that similar factors happen to those westerners ending up on the streets of Thailand; it has all just become too much.
I am sure that those who end up begging in Thailand did not arrive here in such a state. Alcoholics can sometimes achieve a lot of control over their lives and as far as they or anyone else is concerned they are fairly well-adjusted. Most western visitors to Thailand end up in one of the big-drinking areas where all inhibitions go out the window. Places like Pattaya in Thailand can be a drinker’s heaven, but it can easily turn into their hell. All the relatively cheap alcohol with the almost constant party atmosphere combined with the feeling of being away from any type of supervision or constrains can be a recipe for disaster. Any control that a functional alcoholic might demonstrate in his home country is difficult to maintain while in such an environment. It is no wonder that some people lose the plot.
I would never look down on any person who hit rock-bottom while in Thailand. I would do whatever I could to help them. They may have fallen quite low, but this does not mean that they are low people.
There can be an extremely negative view of these homeless people among the ex-pat community in Thailand. There seems to be a rush to dehumanise these people and see them as completely at fault for their predicament. The logic is that people like this should not be allowed to enter the country in the first place. Thai people appear far more understanding, but have too many of their own worthy cases that require their attention.
I was never homeless in Thailand, but I did end up on the streets in my twenties. Alcohol completely destroyed my ability to function rationally or effectively. The only choice for me was the streets. Of course I am responsible for being a drunk, but there was no way in my wildest dreams that I ever thought that things would get that bad. I imagine that similar factors happen to those westerners ending up on the streets of Thailand; it has all just become too much.
I am sure that those who end up begging in Thailand did not arrive here in such a state. Alcoholics can sometimes achieve a lot of control over their lives and as far as they or anyone else is concerned they are fairly well-adjusted. Most western visitors to Thailand end up in one of the big-drinking areas where all inhibitions go out the window. Places like Pattaya in Thailand can be a drinker’s heaven, but it can easily turn into their hell. All the relatively cheap alcohol with the almost constant party atmosphere combined with the feeling of being away from any type of supervision or constrains can be a recipe for disaster. Any control that a functional alcoholic might demonstrate in his home country is difficult to maintain while in such an environment. It is no wonder that some people lose the plot.
I would never look down on any person who hit rock-bottom while in Thailand. I would do whatever I could to help them. They may have fallen quite low, but this does not mean that they are low people.
Sunday 6 September 2009
Why do so many people dislike AA?
There seems to be quite a lot of anti-AA feeling within the recovery world these days. There appears to be many people who would go so far as to say they hate AA. It is bit sad really; why has things ended up this way? It reminds me of the old advertisements for ‘Marmite spread’; you either love it or you hate it.
I was previously a member of AA. I first started attending in my teens and once managed to go to a meeting every day for two years. There were times that I disliked the organisation, but it never reached the stage where I started to hate AA. I could see that it does work for some people; a lot of reformed drunks would likely be dead if it wasn’t for this twelve step programme.
I think though, that AA has been a victim of its own success. It is surely the most well-know treatment option and in some countries it seems to be the only alternative offered by the medical establishment. I remember the first treatment centre that I ended up in insisted that we attend the meetings during our stay. It was due to this that I had a bit of resentment towards the group in my younger years.
I think another reason why people hate AA is that some member of these groups are quite loud in their opinion that the meetings are the only solution for drunks. They seem to be against any type of further research into addiction and believe that AA should be the only option on the table. If you say that you are doing fine without the meetings they will either accuse you of being a ‘dry-drunk’ on the verge of drinking again or that you never were an alcoholic to begin with. This sort of closed-minded attitude puts people off.
Despite all its flaws though, I believe that the twelve-steppers offer a real treatment option for drunks. They can provide a lot more than just a way of staying off the drink; some people really blossom in the programme and go on to live fantastic lives that benefit themselves and everyone around them. Those of us who do not belong to AA can likewise live amazingly happy and productive lives even without the programme. It doesn’t have to be that one way is right and the other wrong.
I was previously a member of AA. I first started attending in my teens and once managed to go to a meeting every day for two years. There were times that I disliked the organisation, but it never reached the stage where I started to hate AA. I could see that it does work for some people; a lot of reformed drunks would likely be dead if it wasn’t for this twelve step programme.
I think though, that AA has been a victim of its own success. It is surely the most well-know treatment option and in some countries it seems to be the only alternative offered by the medical establishment. I remember the first treatment centre that I ended up in insisted that we attend the meetings during our stay. It was due to this that I had a bit of resentment towards the group in my younger years.
I think another reason why people hate AA is that some member of these groups are quite loud in their opinion that the meetings are the only solution for drunks. They seem to be against any type of further research into addiction and believe that AA should be the only option on the table. If you say that you are doing fine without the meetings they will either accuse you of being a ‘dry-drunk’ on the verge of drinking again or that you never were an alcoholic to begin with. This sort of closed-minded attitude puts people off.
Despite all its flaws though, I believe that the twelve-steppers offer a real treatment option for drunks. They can provide a lot more than just a way of staying off the drink; some people really blossom in the programme and go on to live fantastic lives that benefit themselves and everyone around them. Those of us who do not belong to AA can likewise live amazingly happy and productive lives even without the programme. It doesn’t have to be that one way is right and the other wrong.
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