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On our first night in Pattaya we passed a clinic that offered blood tests. The last time my liver was checked, four years previously, the test showed that my liver was being damaged by my excessive alcohol intake. I had elevated LFTs. I had no idea where things stood now.
There had been a bit of mild abdominal pain recently but nowhere near as bad as when I drank. I knew that a lot of this pain could be due to other factors, but I still really worried about my liver. Here was a chance to face my fears. I made a pledge to myself that whatever the outcome I would not drink again. I now enjoyed my life and even if it turned out that my life expectancy had been reduced, due to my previous addiction, I wanted to spend whatever time was left sober. I went into the clinic to take the test.
While I was having my liver function tested I decided to also have the full range of blood tests including my cholesterol, which hadn’t been checked in years. The process only took a few minutes to complete and was less than a thousand bath. The told me that the results would be back in two days. I thought this a great service. I left the clinic pleased that I had taking some action to check on my health but also nervous about the possible results. I decided to try and not dwell on it too much.
Oa started complaining that she was hungry and so obtaining food became the next priority. The Thai restaurant we selected wasn’t very fancy, but the crowds of Thais eating there suggested that the food must be tasty. I missed Thai food while back in Ireland; where I found the food to be very bland. It’s strange, I would miss western food when I went a while without it but would be disappointed with its blandness when I would eat it again. The only exception to this would be bacon which always tastes delicious.
We ordered four dishes; som tam, deep fried beef, spicy pork salad and fish in lemon sauce. I hadn’t eating spicy food in Ireland so my tongue was out of practice. Luckily the meal came with raw vegetables which I was able to stick in my mouth to remove some of the heat. Oa is quite tiny, but she loves her food. She also swears by the Thai saying;’ mai pet, mai aroy’ which means if it is not spicy hot it’s not tasty. We were unable to finish all the meal, as there was so much food, but I felt pleasantly full.
We walked back to the hotel room. The bars were jammed packed by this time with evidence of drunkeness everywhere. To my sober mind this scene no longer looked exciting but seemed threatening. Many of the people seemed out of control, and I spotted a few who looked miserable despite the festive atmosphere. I didn’t envy them their partying any longer and felt relieved to be going back to my room sober to enjoy the rest of the evening. Along the way we bought some fruit to eat back in the hotel in case our hunger returned. Thailand has a fantastic selection of fruit which varies throughout the year. When back in Ireland the fruit seem a bit limited in comparison. I wasn’t back in the hotel room long before falling asleep.
I woke up around midnight. Jet lag was having its affect. The partying could still be heard outside, and I knew that it would continue until almost sunrise. Unlike the first time I came to Thailand there now existed a closing time for bars at about two o’clock. This ban didn’t seemed to be enforced much of the time. It was still possible to get drunk at anytime in Thailand, especially in Pattaya.
We decided to move to a nicer hotel the next morning. I wanted somewhere with a swimming pool. We rented a motorbike and took a ride out to South Pattaya. We looked at a few places but in the end settled for a resort where we had stayed twice before called East-sea resort. We had enjoyed staying there previously; although for me a lot of the attraction had been alcohol related. It had the choice of at least three different swimming pools and wi-fi was available for my laptop. Our present hotel also advertises itself as having wi-fi, but they forgot to mention, on their website, that they charged for this service, and it was far from cheap.
We got a taxi and brought our stuff to the new hotel room. I wasted no time before having a dip in the pool . I swam around for a short while, but as usual became bored after a few minutes. Oa joined me and we played around in the water for a while. I had enough and decided to go read my book. Oa was irritated with me because she wanted to stay in longer and didn’t want to stay alone; after all it had been my idea to get a more expensive hotel, because I wanted a pool. I laughed off her annoyance.
The rooms in East-Sea were of the bungalow variety and each had a little balcony where we could sit. I brought out a book and my new laptop and checked out the wi-fi. It worked all right but seemed a bit slow. I had been eager to use the internet since my arrival back in Thailand, but now that I was back online I couldn’t think of any sites I wanted to visit. I opened my book instead. Oa had enough of the sun and as usual became terrified that it might make her skin darker so returned to the room for a nap, We spent the rest of the day just lazing about with the occasional dip in the pool. In the evening we dined locally.
The next afternoon we decided to do something different. I had noticed people and jet skies earlier in the day. This was something I had never tried before and my sober mind felt more adventurous than my drunken one had been. We rented a jet ski from the beach in Central Pattaya.
I started off slowly as I had heard that these machines could be dangerous. It didn’t take me long to get my confidence though, and I was soon speeding along and trying to scare Oa. The weather was boiling hot so the water seemed very inviting. Oa roared out screams of laughter and terror. We took turns riding the jet ski for an hour. When Oa was in charge the ride became much slower and less bumpy. We finished the ride with our spirits high, and I was once again thankful for being sober and able to enjoy life. I had seen these jet skies for rent many times over the years, but never considered using them. I was only ever concerned with the bars.
Later that evening we returned to the clinic to get the results of my blood test. Despite my best efforts it had been playing on my mind, and I felt very nervous as we approached the receptionist. What if my liver was damaged beyond repair? She handed me my results in a white envelope. My hands shook as I opened it.
My Liver Function Test was normal - what a relief. This didn’t prove that my liver hadn’t been damaged, but it was certainly a good sign. I once again silently gave thanks to Wat Thamkrabok for getting me sober, and for providing the medicine, which I believed, had helped heal my liver. As a bonus bit of good news, all my other blood results were normal too.
We stayed in Pattaya for a further two days. This felt about enough time for enjoying the local attractions. We had visited a couple of temples, browsed through many markets and eating in a few nice restaurants. We took the night bus back to Phitsanulok where we were lucky enough to arrive in time to meet another a bus to take us to Chat Trakan. I was really looking forward to seeing our dog Cola again after our two month separation.
1 comment:
Hello Paul, cead mile failte and congratulations to you and Oa on the birth of your son, my name is Shane writing from Galway,
sabaidee mai krup, uay chai hâi pon krôp krua
doi chăy-paa-ะ yàang yîng dèk
i just finished your book lastnight and congratulations to you in so many ways for that too, and your continued sobriety, i am trying evrything to beat drink and sometimes not trying atall, but i am starting to believe, even before i read your book and my 2 visits to Thailand that the Buddhist learnings, the dharmas, can help give me 'some' of the tools to beat it. Your book is a credit to you, thank you, and i am gonna oder 5 or 6 copies off the bangkokbooks website in the next day or two to share with my friends, you hit the nail on the head at least once every page, your honesty and clarity, and to be able to write the mind, and as an alcoholic myself to read, was quite a trip, thank you for the hours you must have spent, after all the self help alcholic books treatmetnts bla bla, it is one of the best ive ever read, maybe being irish and haven bein in Thailand i dunno makes it ring so true, i might read 20 books on dealing with alcoholism and maybe 2 will suit me, but the othrs suit other people, we all different approaches, historys and different escape plans, different outlooks, spiritual etc,.
Im hoping tomorrow to go to my first exercise in buddhist meditation, here in galway, something ive been keen on for many years. only foiund out that there is a place her i can go to, didnt know that until i went to find out and talked to people about such thing, but now am finding the resolve to do, its a long story as you can imagine yourself, many roads, full of fine ideas, and so many lost days buying bottles from Dunnes and grinning at the moon,
being in Thailand for the short times i was on holidays, and Laos, has turned up the volume, and the visions i saw there and the things the voices told me, and the dreams, and the Buddha, has honed me in on this path, as almost you say in the title of your book, a last escape, my last time there on ko samui, i got a phone call from a plastic bag telling me it was the western health board and saying SHane, you have 3 years to live, but as that sentence finished a small Buddha appeared on my right shoulder and offered me an escape, saying it does not have to be this way, that is just one direction you can take, or you can stay in this world but you must pay attention and learn and i will will teach you, do not worry,
would only a madman not go to the buddha and listen, yet i am still drinking 4 months later, to beat the band, almost as in defeat, but enjoying every mortal drop, so it seems, until i die every morning, and still neverr learn, to break this cycle is so similiar to what i understand buddhisms view on human life is, i am always aware since young that everyday is rebirth, after sleep, but i did not envisage getting through hell like this every day, imagine i had to suffer lifetimes of this, you know?
But you know, in the oast 15 years, everyone i met, in all the books i read, listening to people, asking, , i searched the net, the library for references to find some explanation for something that happened to me one day out of the blue, when i was 21 or 22, the light you say you saw on the double decker bus in London years ago, i saw what sounds like the same thing too when i was about 21, the closest thing i could find trying to understand or ask peaople or on the net or asking doctors or even holy people, is like a near-death experience, a flashback i wondered sometimes, or a chemical problem in my mind, or else what i really believe is to accept it for what it is, even though i do not understand it, reading your description that day on top of the bus, you didnt elaborate too much, understandlbly cos its is coinfusing and beyond description, but very similar and i wondered is possible even same thing? i was just sitting on a bench looking up at the clouds when mine happened, no drink, no drugs, at first i just thought it was the sun coming out, but then i realised the sun was over away in a differnt part of the sky, so i thought, what is brighter than the sun, nothing i ever heard of, jesus is it gonna be the blessed virgin or some mad statue or spaceship, and the sky increasingly filled with light till till the light reached the horizon all around, like a hula-hoop coming down over the planet, like maybe the rings of saturn if they just appeared out of space and landed on eart, and then replaced the ground aswell, and this amazing calling came to me to come to it, complete transmorgification whatever that means, ha ha, and i was a 'little worried' even though it was the gentlest sweetest beckoning, come come it was going to take me away, and i asked 'if i go with you, will i ever see my friends andfamily again' (just popped into my head to ask this to tyry and understand) and the voice, which spoke without words (ko jai?) said smilingly 'no you leave this world' and i asked 'can i stay here?' and it said sure no problem, and smiled and the warmth was incredible as the light slowly shrank away back to the sky as the grass at my feet started to re-appear and soon teh horizon and then the beach, with people walking dogs, and then the sky and i followed with my eyes the light as it returned to its central what seemed like sun-state in the sky and then it just was not there anymore, and i could see the 'real' sun was over half way across the sky to my left (west, late morning) and all back to normal., i thought everone down the beach the people walking around, i thought they would all be jumping up and down and pointing at the sky and screaming and laughing with amazement, you knowe, after such a thing, because i completely took it as a physical event, but everyone was carrying on as if nothing had happened, was hard to believe, then i realised that this must have been something for me only in my soul, i swear i took it at the time as being so real why wouldnt i, it was and still is, i have no doubt, but when the light (which was whiter than white) went i honestly expected to see everybody else pointing at the sky, anyway, i puzzled over this for years, (but never forgetting the joy and peace which it brought, and the safety in my heart that no matter what happens, we should not worry, naturally we do not understand these things (or maybe we do) but our worry is incorrect, is useless and futile, rather we should learn to love and be happy and enjoy our lives, albiet obviuously correctly for ourselves and to everyone we meet, ahhh mad, Paul, but i really wanted to tell you that and i know ive made a hames of telling this story properly, cos i was drinkin earlier tonight and its such an exciting event for me that i mightnt even send you this email, maybe i will try and do that sober, i loooked how to send you email but their is only this comment page, no worries man, cant keep a good secret ha ha, i just had to tell you, but i want to write it down properly someday, ive tried many times, you know, very very few people believe me, but i know what happened that day.
i dont understand it but i love it and i accept it and my soul rejoices in the memory, it was almost like a feminine spirit it was so gentle, but that could be just because of my growing-up-on earth views, as i understood them at the time, now i tring to commit myself to Love Peace Happiness and Joy and i dont see them as being either masculine or femine, but back then it might have seemed very gentle in its nature, the voice.
Does it help make any sense, probably not and i wish i could and maybe i will email you this instead, incase you havent enough to be doing haha, but curiously enough, the week before or two weeks before, i saw a hole in the universe, i was watching some ravens washing themselves in a puddle actually now i remember i must have only been 19 when all this was happening, cos i was on my way to a course in the local school, and i was watching the ravens washing themselves, in a puddle about 3 feet wide, and through the puddle appeared a hole in the universe, almost the opposite, but no-where near as earth-shatteringly mind-blowing as the light two weeks later, but a hole in the universe, blacker than black, like evn if there was a hole right through earth i would see out the other side to the sky above that, to the stars beyond, but this was blacker than black, absolutely No Thing, no thing nothing nothing atall but i always knew since i was 4 that ravens were my spirit bird and still are, ar large crows in any shape, they are my guides to my heaven
maybe sometime i will tell you about the time when i was lifted into space and all the animals grinned at me and winked, the frogs, the fish, the grasshoppers and giraffes, and of course the birds on the tree, i was very nervous, but they all grinned from two thousand miles below my (i know, how do you see a fishes eye from two thousand miles - it must be a spiritual thing...) and they all winked at the same time, and said 'dont worry' can you understand this atall, any resonance? to you Paul, Oa and your son and Cola too, and all your friends and family,
with massive respect to you for your very heartfelt book, just found your 'blog' tonight after finishing your book lastnight, out of missing Thailand too much also had me scratching the internet, for you know, and some of my Thai friends say, maybe you lived here before in past life, who knows....
Ireland nice spiritual country to grow up intoo though, the land screams with history and mysticism, spirits abound, the same full moon upon us all
take care Paul, i just found your blog to nightm if you dont mind i will read the rest of it another evening when i get a chance,
chock dee mak mak, and happy songkran to you all family,
i thought i loved Ireland, but then i went to Thailand :-)
all blessings and god bless the biro too, your book put feathers in my wing a chara, i do a 'wai' for your family and future
Shane :-) stonemad@gmail.com
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