An important idea in Buddhism is karma (kamma). The belief that actions have consequences and that our intended actions will have consequences for us. I find the idea of karma easy to accept. It makes sense to me. I have seen it work in my life on many occasions. I don't think there is anything magical about it, and I don't think that you need to be a Buddhist in order to accept it. Many people likely believe in karma without realising it.
I feel that many people wrongly view karma as being about punishment. I don't see it that way. For me it is just one of natures laws and so it's value free. Put very simply, when I do good things then good things will come my way, and when I do negative things then negative come my way. I am not being punished for doing wrong, but instead I am just getting back from the system what I put into it. Not everything that happens to me will be due to my karma, but it’s an important factor and it’s something that I have control over.
A simple example of how this works would be that if I help somebody else it will cause me to feel good about myself. An instant good result from my actions. It may also mean that the person who I have helped might help me at some stage. It could also mean that if I help people a lot then at a later time I might look back at my life and say, 'hey, I'm not that bad a person'. All these are positive outcomes from my actions.
A very positive action which I took was quitting alcohol. It continues to provide positive results even today, and I'm convinced that it will continue to do so into the future. This is what the satja vow is all about, which was the vow I made at Wat Thamkrabok to quit my addiction. I made a positive change in my life and has put my life on course for a bright future. Of course bad things will still happen occasionally but, unlike my previous life as a drunk, it won't be one disaster after another.
The most fantastic thing that the satja vow provides is that it allows me to lighten up on things. When I put my trust in the promise of the vow, that my life will improve so long as I maintain it, then I have much less in life to worry about. Things may seem bleak at times, but so long as I don't return to addiction then they will get better. I can't imagine ever ending up in the gutter sober. If I continue to sow good seeds then there will be good results at some time in the future.
An important thing to remember though is that while the satja vow promises that positive things will enter my life, so long as I maintain the vow, it doesn’t promise that things will always go my way. What I want and what is meant for me aren’t always the same thing. Sometimes I need to be patient, but when I look back I can see that life has taken me to where I need to be.
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Friday, 15 February 2008
The Satja Vow
One of the most important things for me at Wat Thamkrabok was the satja vow. The promise I made not to drink again for the rest of my life. I was recently asked by somebody if you need to be Buddhist to make this vow.
I speak to many ex-patients of Wat Thamkrabok who have been sober for decades. Some of these people wouldn't consider themselves to be Buddhist, and I don't think you need to study Buddhism in order to take the satja seriously. The vow takes on its own importance and the fact that it can be only made once increases the significance.
In my view Wat Thamkrabok is a very spiritual community. I think that this is what makes it magical. In this I agree with AA, recovery often needs to be a spiritual path.
Many addicts are acting up because they have no other means of coping and are missing a spiritual aspect of their lives. The famous 'hole in the soul'. In my view many addicts have spiritual yearnings and if these yearnings are not met life will have little meaning.
The satja vow works. While you keep it good things come into your life. As somebody remains sober they will see that their lives are improving and their faith in the satja will grow. This has been the experience of all who I have spoken to who have followed the program.
The satja vow replaces the need for a support group in many cases, although some ex-patients do belong to AA/NA also. Of course sometimes the shit will hit the fan, as nobody gets a free ride through life, but the vow supports people through life.
The difference, in my view, between an ex-Thamkrabok patient who keeps his vow and a 'dry-drunk' is that the 'dry-drunk' has stagnated. They have giving up alcohol but all the reasons for why they drank/used are still there. They may stay sober for long periods but will resent this life without a tool (their favorite drug) which helped make life bearable.
An ex- Thamkrabok patient has made a vow to stay sober. They do this in order to find their correct path in life. A path which will make them happy. The fact that they have made themselves open to change and development means that change does happen. Sincere effort gets rewarded. I believe a similar process occurs when people in AA follow the 12 steps. I don't believe that it is only Wat Thamkrabok or the 12 stepers who have cornered the market on spirituality. Ex- addicts can find other ways to find their way onto a path through life which has meaning.
It is my belief that the satja vow is the same as the higher power in AA. The ex-Wat Thamkrabok patient puts their faith in the fact that the vow will get them through life. They can hand-over to this higher power. When they face powerlessness in life, which most of us face everyday, they can pass this over to their satja/higher power. The belief that the fact that they are trying to do the right thing will mean that everything will work out the way it should.
So no, you don't need to have any Buddhist knowledge to appreciate the satja vow, but you do need to believe that if you do the right thing the right things will happen. I would say that most people believe this basic idea of kamma (karma), at least at some level.
I speak to many ex-patients of Wat Thamkrabok who have been sober for decades. Some of these people wouldn't consider themselves to be Buddhist, and I don't think you need to study Buddhism in order to take the satja seriously. The vow takes on its own importance and the fact that it can be only made once increases the significance.
In my view Wat Thamkrabok is a very spiritual community. I think that this is what makes it magical. In this I agree with AA, recovery often needs to be a spiritual path.
Many addicts are acting up because they have no other means of coping and are missing a spiritual aspect of their lives. The famous 'hole in the soul'. In my view many addicts have spiritual yearnings and if these yearnings are not met life will have little meaning.
The satja vow works. While you keep it good things come into your life. As somebody remains sober they will see that their lives are improving and their faith in the satja will grow. This has been the experience of all who I have spoken to who have followed the program.
The satja vow replaces the need for a support group in many cases, although some ex-patients do belong to AA/NA also. Of course sometimes the shit will hit the fan, as nobody gets a free ride through life, but the vow supports people through life.
The difference, in my view, between an ex-Thamkrabok patient who keeps his vow and a 'dry-drunk' is that the 'dry-drunk' has stagnated. They have giving up alcohol but all the reasons for why they drank/used are still there. They may stay sober for long periods but will resent this life without a tool (their favorite drug) which helped make life bearable.
An ex- Thamkrabok patient has made a vow to stay sober. They do this in order to find their correct path in life. A path which will make them happy. The fact that they have made themselves open to change and development means that change does happen. Sincere effort gets rewarded. I believe a similar process occurs when people in AA follow the 12 steps. I don't believe that it is only Wat Thamkrabok or the 12 stepers who have cornered the market on spirituality. Ex- addicts can find other ways to find their way onto a path through life which has meaning.
It is my belief that the satja vow is the same as the higher power in AA. The ex-Wat Thamkrabok patient puts their faith in the fact that the vow will get them through life. They can hand-over to this higher power. When they face powerlessness in life, which most of us face everyday, they can pass this over to their satja/higher power. The belief that the fact that they are trying to do the right thing will mean that everything will work out the way it should.
So no, you don't need to have any Buddhist knowledge to appreciate the satja vow, but you do need to believe that if you do the right thing the right things will happen. I would say that most people believe this basic idea of kamma (karma), at least at some level.
Saturday, 9 February 2008
'Last Escape' reviewed by The Bangkok Post
The 'Last Escape' received its first review in The Bangkok Post. I felt delighted that they mentioned my book, but I also think that they over-emphasized my criticisms of AA. I have great respect for the AA program.
http://www.bangkokpost.com/Realtime/08Feb2008_real011.php
BOOK REVIEW
Hope for lushes
Last Escape, by Paul Garrigan, 196 pp, 2008 Bangkok Book, paperback, Available at Asia Books and leading book stores, 395 baht
BERNARD TRINK
Covering the nitery entertainment scene for decades, I've seen more elbow-benders than I can count. That I'm not one of them is because I refused to accept the false bonhomie induced by suds and firewater. While not a teetotaler, much less an advocate of Prohibition, I've witnessed the deleterious effect of alcohol ("Come on, one more for the road!") and imbibe only in great moderation.
People have varied degrees of tolerance to booze, from the man or woman who can drink anyone under the table to the person who gets woozy sniffing a wet bar rag, but in every instance their reflexes are adversely affected. Hence their being tossed into the clink for driving under intoxication or bashing their spouse or taking sleeping pills instead of vitamins.
Celebrities keep going into de-tox clinics by court order, then get off the wagon as soon as the judge's back is turned. Losing jobs, their family, their self-respect, becoming bums on skid row, painful cirrhosis of the liver mark their descent. Can it be reversed at some point? AA, for one, asserts it can. They see alcoholism as a chronic disease, not fault of the sufferer.
Belief in the power of the group and a Christian God are needed to recover, along with the firm resolve to lay off the sauce. Dublin-born male nurse Paul Garrigan, who took to beer at age 11 ("Ireland and its pubs are inseparable."), was a lush by the time he was 15. Quaffing had its advantage, making him one of the big boys, losing his shyness, giving him aspirations to be like his role model Brendan Behan.
The downside is that he felt wasted, had cramps, suffered from blackouts, felt suicidal. He attended AA meetings, but didn't feel spiritually uplifted. Nor did he agree that he was in the grips of a chronic disease. Drinking was a bad habit that needed stopping. Applying for work in Saudi Arabia, a dry country, seemed the obvious solution.
Except that in every community of Westerners there, there was at least one home-made still. The white lightning they produced was over 100 proof. Garrigan literally staggered out of the place and headed for Thailand, having heard of temples treating addicts. His book Last Escape describes his experiences in two: Wat Rampoeng in the north and Wat Thamkrabok, 10 days in each with a break in between.
Meditation and emetics are used, throwing up three times a day. When not detailing the vomiting, Garrigan tells us about the other addicts (also druggies), of both genders, doing the same and the monks teaching the precepts of Buddhism. His body purified, he accepts the philosophy/religion and rides off on his Honda motorcycle to wed his Thai girlfriend and father their child.
The message is that even if you're falling down drunk, there is hope at Wat Thamkrabok as long as you can stand all the puking. This reviewer doesn't know what AA has to say about Wat Thamkrabok. It would be unwise to reject it out of hand. It would be unwise to reject it out of hand. It is proving its worth, though there are recidivists.
http://www.bangkokpost.com/Realtime/08Feb2008_real011.php
BOOK REVIEW
Hope for lushes
Last Escape, by Paul Garrigan, 196 pp, 2008 Bangkok Book, paperback, Available at Asia Books and leading book stores, 395 baht
BERNARD TRINK
Covering the nitery entertainment scene for decades, I've seen more elbow-benders than I can count. That I'm not one of them is because I refused to accept the false bonhomie induced by suds and firewater. While not a teetotaler, much less an advocate of Prohibition, I've witnessed the deleterious effect of alcohol ("Come on, one more for the road!") and imbibe only in great moderation.
People have varied degrees of tolerance to booze, from the man or woman who can drink anyone under the table to the person who gets woozy sniffing a wet bar rag, but in every instance their reflexes are adversely affected. Hence their being tossed into the clink for driving under intoxication or bashing their spouse or taking sleeping pills instead of vitamins.
Celebrities keep going into de-tox clinics by court order, then get off the wagon as soon as the judge's back is turned. Losing jobs, their family, their self-respect, becoming bums on skid row, painful cirrhosis of the liver mark their descent. Can it be reversed at some point? AA, for one, asserts it can. They see alcoholism as a chronic disease, not fault of the sufferer.
Belief in the power of the group and a Christian God are needed to recover, along with the firm resolve to lay off the sauce. Dublin-born male nurse Paul Garrigan, who took to beer at age 11 ("Ireland and its pubs are inseparable."), was a lush by the time he was 15. Quaffing had its advantage, making him one of the big boys, losing his shyness, giving him aspirations to be like his role model Brendan Behan.
The downside is that he felt wasted, had cramps, suffered from blackouts, felt suicidal. He attended AA meetings, but didn't feel spiritually uplifted. Nor did he agree that he was in the grips of a chronic disease. Drinking was a bad habit that needed stopping. Applying for work in Saudi Arabia, a dry country, seemed the obvious solution.
Except that in every community of Westerners there, there was at least one home-made still. The white lightning they produced was over 100 proof. Garrigan literally staggered out of the place and headed for Thailand, having heard of temples treating addicts. His book Last Escape describes his experiences in two: Wat Rampoeng in the north and Wat Thamkrabok, 10 days in each with a break in between.
Meditation and emetics are used, throwing up three times a day. When not detailing the vomiting, Garrigan tells us about the other addicts (also druggies), of both genders, doing the same and the monks teaching the precepts of Buddhism. His body purified, he accepts the philosophy/religion and rides off on his Honda motorcycle to wed his Thai girlfriend and father their child.
The message is that even if you're falling down drunk, there is hope at Wat Thamkrabok as long as you can stand all the puking. This reviewer doesn't know what AA has to say about Wat Thamkrabok. It would be unwise to reject it out of hand. It would be unwise to reject it out of hand. It is proving its worth, though there are recidivists.
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
Advice to other writers
I received an email from another ex-patient from the temple who was interested in writing a memoir about his experiences in sobriety. His story is fascinating and could would likely help others. I think that there will never be enough of these stories for people to read. When I was a drunk I would search bookstores for any stories of hope in regards to addiction. Anyway I'll reprint here some of the advice which I gave him. Perhaps some of you readers also have a book in you. I'm no expert but still very much a beginner writing but here was my advice;
I will tell you what I have discovered about writing. I would frequently, throughout my life, begin writing something but then go back and read it and be so discouraged by what I had written that I would abandon any further writing and destroy the evidence of my crapness. I didn't realise that the first draft of any manuscript is allowed to be terrible and nobody needs to see it. It is only after the first draft is finished that you go back and make it readable.
Writing a book takes time and a lot of energy. For example, the first email you sent me yesterday seem to have over 200 words in it. If you made yourself write 200 hundred words everyday about your story in one year you will have over 70,000 words which is a very respectable sized book. You may find that you write a lot more than 200 words a day. The main thing though is that you continue writing until the project is finished. This may take years.
The important thing when you are writing the first draft is not to read what you have written and don't attempt to edit it, at least that has been my experience. If you want you can record any changes you wish to make in a notebook but don't mess around with the manuscript itself. It will only likely discourage you. When you have finished the first draft of the manuscript you can tell people that you have written a book if you want (but I would advise against showing this first draft to anyone).
After you finish the first draft of the manuscript is when the real hard work begins for many people. It may take many rewrites to get it to a place where you feel that it is readable, but the fact that you have written a first draft should be motivation enough to keep you going. When you reread your first draft you may feel a bit discouraged about how crap it is. This is normal.
When I was writing about the temple I felt driven to get it finished. Telling my story felt more important to me than how crap my writing was. As you say, when you do something from the heart it just feels right. I ignored the above advice and just published as I went along. I would write a chapter most days and publish it as part of my blog on the internet. Very little time was spent on editing. People began reading my blog and some provided positive comments and this motivated me to finish the thing. It was only when I had finished that I realised that I had the basis of a book.
I later went back and reread the whole blog and was a bit disappointed with the standard of the writing. . I spent months rewriting the whole thing and this led to the book. I don't know if I would have the nerve to do this blog method of writing a book again.
I am currently writing another book, two in fact. This time I am just concentrating on getting the first drafts written and not showing it to anybody.
I really wish you all the best with your writing.
Get your arse in the chair and don't expect yourself to be the next Stephen King.
The joy is in writing the damn thing. If it helps somebody else or it gets published is a big bonus.
I have found the following podcasts helpful.
If you have itunes you can easily download them all or you can listen online.
http://isbw.murlafferty.com/
http://www.writingshow.com/
There are plenty more if you search the internet.
I would also advise that if you have time, and can't do it already, that you learn to touch-type.
There are plenty webpages and free programs on the internet to teach you how to do this.
Paul
I will tell you what I have discovered about writing. I would frequently, throughout my life, begin writing something but then go back and read it and be so discouraged by what I had written that I would abandon any further writing and destroy the evidence of my crapness. I didn't realise that the first draft of any manuscript is allowed to be terrible and nobody needs to see it. It is only after the first draft is finished that you go back and make it readable.
Writing a book takes time and a lot of energy. For example, the first email you sent me yesterday seem to have over 200 words in it. If you made yourself write 200 hundred words everyday about your story in one year you will have over 70,000 words which is a very respectable sized book. You may find that you write a lot more than 200 words a day. The main thing though is that you continue writing until the project is finished. This may take years.
The important thing when you are writing the first draft is not to read what you have written and don't attempt to edit it, at least that has been my experience. If you want you can record any changes you wish to make in a notebook but don't mess around with the manuscript itself. It will only likely discourage you. When you have finished the first draft of the manuscript you can tell people that you have written a book if you want (but I would advise against showing this first draft to anyone).
After you finish the first draft of the manuscript is when the real hard work begins for many people. It may take many rewrites to get it to a place where you feel that it is readable, but the fact that you have written a first draft should be motivation enough to keep you going. When you reread your first draft you may feel a bit discouraged about how crap it is. This is normal.
When I was writing about the temple I felt driven to get it finished. Telling my story felt more important to me than how crap my writing was. As you say, when you do something from the heart it just feels right. I ignored the above advice and just published as I went along. I would write a chapter most days and publish it as part of my blog on the internet. Very little time was spent on editing. People began reading my blog and some provided positive comments and this motivated me to finish the thing. It was only when I had finished that I realised that I had the basis of a book.
I later went back and reread the whole blog and was a bit disappointed with the standard of the writing. . I spent months rewriting the whole thing and this led to the book. I don't know if I would have the nerve to do this blog method of writing a book again.
I am currently writing another book, two in fact. This time I am just concentrating on getting the first drafts written and not showing it to anybody.
I really wish you all the best with your writing.
Get your arse in the chair and don't expect yourself to be the next Stephen King.
The joy is in writing the damn thing. If it helps somebody else or it gets published is a big bonus.
I have found the following podcasts helpful.
If you have itunes you can easily download them all or you can listen online.
http://isbw.murlafferty.com/
http://www.writingshow.com/
There are plenty more if you search the internet.
I would also advise that if you have time, and can't do it already, that you learn to touch-type.
There are plenty webpages and free programs on the internet to teach you how to do this.
Paul
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